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I grew up the only child of older parents (who are also 10 years apart), and often felt like an awkward old lady trapped inside a teeny-bopper’s body. I admit, I wasn’t as physically attracted to him as I had been to other partners. Have you ever seen a girl with a hideous boyfriend and thought, “Seriously, how the f$*k did he pull that off? Either he's just a nice friggin’ dude; or being with him boosts her self-confidence. In my case, the age gap was actually a cavernous black hole defying space and time. He’s old and sick now, and she takes care of him (even financially), but she’s still partying and sleeping around. I sometimes imagine what would have happened if I had stayed with my older man. The last I heard, my older ex was in a tumultuous relationship with another 20-something, this time a singer reminiscent of Björk. A decade or more is no longer gross, but actually pretty intriguing — and although some women still think it’s too much, the rest of us recognize that older guys are a whole different species.I’ve dated a few older men, and one in particular who was much older.Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. I didn't know then that our age gap would define the relationship. I got that; but even though I knew there was no future, I didn’t cut it off completely. After it ended, he talked to a lot of people about our relationship -- and what happened through the grapevine was unexpected. Women judged me as having an ulterior, economic motive: “She just dated him for his money,” or “She thought she could get ahead.” In our society people are so quick to judge a young, naïve woman -- never the older man who perhaps should’ve known better too.
Don’t keep it to yourself and sulk or moan about it. The fact that I wrote this article should tell you that age does matter.The experience taught me a lot about love, and here’s why I’m glad I did it: Older men have been through a lot more of “life” than you have.It can help to have someone put your major crises into perspective.Instead of cussing them good, just say, “No comment.” Don’t come in thinking you’ve found a sugar daddy, or that because he’s older he will have his life together and be wise. He might be in a world of debt and have a sideways way of thinking as opposed to an IRA account and a wealth of wisdom from past experiences.Every man is different, and sometimes change of self doesn’t come with a change in age.